Tomorrow, Sara Grace and I will host some current friends and some people we do not even know yet at a business breakfast. Our desire is for them to connect with old and new friends from the business world that they can enjoy. Perhaps they will all meet people that they can add value to and call it a day lived well. Hopefully none of them will spend all morning pushing their personal brand around the room, but better yet looking for ways to further the brand of others.
One of the most popular phrases and even selling points when it comes to business events is the "networking opportunities." When this is used, the intention is probably for the greater good and I trust it's the way you would perceive it and act upon it. One thing to realize is that if you are going to a place or event with 1 to 1000 people, there will be "networking opportunities" heck there are networking opportunities lying all around you so long as there are other people around. Do not just wait for some event. However, if you are at an event, take this advice to heart.
What I see too often are the people that show up at a gathering and they are like a bull in a china shop doing all they can to meet everyone in their path. Their mission is too often to flash their smile, asking "SO what you do?" while rarely listening.They wait eagerly to tell you about themselves. To me it is so easy to spot, it's like watching a little child wait to receive something they are not getting quickly enough. No, they may not jump around whining, but they might as well be. The body language and the expression of their words screams of a selfish business pitch and not a CARE conversation. Here is one of the best ways to spot this person if you see them more than once: The second time you see them they do not remember much if anything about you and are quick to talk "safely" about their biz. They come equipped with phony smile and all.
As you can see, I am not a fan of this behavior. I feel this way because the person I am talking about lacks true CARE. In order to really Network you have to CARE for the other person or persons and you must have an innate desire to help them. True "Connectors" rarely even mention "what they do" before they look for and provide ways to further your future.
In a recent Blog Post. My friend Tim Sanders says it best:
"Networking is a relationship builder and should be looked at as a gift that you give others with no expectations of being repaid -- not a way of getting ahead. To network, then, the key is to be of equal or greater social value than your networking subject. This way, you network from a position of strength. This also prevents you from coming across as an annoyance, since you are only trying to give a gift."
So before you start tossing around your business card like it's the Chinese throwing stars we played with as kids, ask yourself if you really CARE about helping other people. If CARE is not in the equation, apply yourself to a new practice of representing yourself because effective networking is not with you yet.
To ask safe questions about this, E-Mail Me. To read two excellent books on this.. look below:
LOVE is the Killer App by Tim Sanders & Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
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