When doing leadership development and working to improve organizational environments, we talk a lot about the importance of positive relationships. We know that it is of utmost importance to develop and cultivate positive relationships throughout. You have likely heard that trust is the foundation of relationships and relationships are the foundation of leadership. This is all very true and I trust us all to lead with such beliefs.
The presence of positive relationships has a far reaching ripple effect of good things and action is sweet when you have that.
One not so good ripple effect I have seen is when a manager Misinterprets positive relationships as a means to soften up on his/her people. What happens here is the manager swings to a relational extreme and allows their people to get away with everything and move away from the standards that are in place for a necessary reason. In fear of ruining the relational glue, they avoid anything that might feel confrontational. When this happens employees fail, customers get poor service, favoritism is alleged, etc. In short.....the ripples begin to go the wrong way.
I define "soft" as the following: letting them get away with everything and allowing them to flounder around in their failures without addressing him/her. Being soft on your people is not the implication of building positive relationships. It is essentially the opposite of it.
When a manager does not confront his/her people, they are essentially sitting back waiting for them to fail and then they decide to react. Good Managers are proactive. They go quickly to the person who is walking the line of failure and discuss the issue. Doing it this way will provide you the goal of preventing failure and creating success. This inevitable discussion may not be warm/fuzzy for the subordinate at the time, but once they realize you are preventing failure and creating their success - the relationship will improve.
The truth to all this is = The presence of positive relationships actually improves the culture of accountability and discipline. If your people know you care, they will work harder to not disappoint you. Tell them clearly what you expect, hold them accountable, cultivate the relationship...when and if you have to confront, the outcome will have a higher winning percentage.
As Campbell's Soup CEO Douglas Conant says: Be "Tough Minded on Standards and Tender Hearted with People."
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