I took a few moments to read my own mind upon the close of a week that could go down as a mental marathon(uphill both ways). As I was thinking on general advice I could pass on to leaders...advice to challenge and improve nonetheless. I could not get the following off my mind:
Get Counseling! I am not talking about career coaching, executive coaching, mentoring from another business leader. I am talking about a professional SHRINK! Yes - someone that has dedicated their life to understanding the complexity of your brain and the subsequent gamut of reactions, pains, fears, wounds, etc. that you experience just like everyone else. If you are human, you have patterns of gnarly behavior that frequently reveal themselves - some more often than others. It is expected for them to bother you. Chances are they bother other people too - especially the people you lead like your family, friends and employees.
Even more exciting (not really) is the fact that such negative behaviors probably originated from past events in your life. For example, family tragedy, loss, abuse, divorce, failures, and war all have the sticky possibility to leave wounds within us that manifest themselves in ugly fashion. Many times when you and I respond "out of character" to those we lead - it is because one of those wounds got woken up from a deep sleep.
Find a trusting Doc. who can safely wake up those wounds and teach you how to deal with them and begin the victorious process of extinguishing them. In doing this you will learn so much about yourself. You will learn why you are the way you are, why you react to certain things in negative ways; the right professional will also release strengths in you that you were not aware of.
Of course this may be a private manner for you just as it was for me. Unless it is your spouse or significant other..you do not have to tell anyone. They will notice the difference. I thank my amazing bride for being the leader who inspired me to take this journey in which I advise you.
If this makes you really uncomfortable - that's your soul telling you to go for it. Your leadership will greatly improve because you will greatly improve.
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